by: Syifa Fauzia Qurratu’aini
Songs: For You Now - Suho ft. Younha + End of a Day - Jonghyun
It’s midnight; the night has turned coal black and the stars have greeted me with thousands of winks. It’s freezing, and my whole body aches from tiredness that I can’t fall asleep. But it’s okay. Because today, without fail, you are here with me.
You. The person whom I met for the first time on that day, tapping my shoulder gently like a series of shy knocks. You, whose umbrella fell out of your hands and left alone on the sidewalk to reach me. Me, who had let the dark suffocate my mind until I couldn’t breathe. Me, whose tears had mixed with the sky’s, shakily clutching the railing of that bridge, ready to jump.
I remember that moment. Of your eyes which dimmed and turned watery. Of your sobs and your hugs. Of your words that made me smile, even though it was a bitter one:
“I’m here. You’re not alone. I’m proud of you for holding on.”
Your hands stretched so wide to welcome me into home, shooing away the clouds lurking inside my mind. Even after all these years, when the clouds came back and chased me down, when I was too embarrassed to even see your face, you’d be here. Beside me, ground me down to remind me of who I am.
Right now, as my eyes land on you who are lying down on my mattress while hogging my pillows, I can’t help but smile. You mean so much to me, and I want to give it back to you. This time, let me be the one to hold your hands and blankets you with warm embrace. Let me whisper words of sweet nothings in your ear. All of your support, your love. You deserve it.
Even when your breath has even out, your beautiful windows of soul has fluttered close to live in that happy dreams that you always love, and you can hear me no more, let me say this, “Thank you.”
Hope my honesty reaches to you.